In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
