So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm just crazy horny about you
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
