I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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