i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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