Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize