O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
