man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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