whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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