Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
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