so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
