yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
