Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Randomize
