The maid of honor just puked.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
