Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
