Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
