I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize