Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
