I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
