nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
