So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Randomize
