who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
