haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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