One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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