The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
