I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
