i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
We are two peas in an std pod
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
