"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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