If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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