you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
