I wish I could punch you in the face.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Randomize
