The maid of honor just puked.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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