Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
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