I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
They are going to name an STD after you.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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