Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
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