how can u be prego again
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
