i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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