We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
