The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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