great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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