i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
