it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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