i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He has the fingertips of a God
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