Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
