So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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