What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
