I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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