Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
