I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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