I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize