That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
