cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Its about making memories worth repressing
ugly people sure do ruin things
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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