I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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