they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
