I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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