then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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