do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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