yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
