he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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