i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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