His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
