I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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