She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
