Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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