Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
